Mr. Man-ners (19): God-Like, Sunglasses, Xmas, Spanish Music, Biggots, Appointments, Prosititutes, Sun, Visine, Sensitive Eyes, Ray Bans

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
If you’re a God like person, then you must be psychic. Where the hell did I put my sunglasses?
Wants to Believe

Dear Wants to Believe:
Believe this—your sunglasses are in a place you’d never expect. Up your ass! I’m not psychic—I’m just God “like” meaning if you don’t stop writing me with stupid questions I’ll send a plague down upon you—and the sun will block out your ability to see it—and you without your sunglasses! Damn. Start sticking something up your ass to find them—like a fist!
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
My girlfriend recently gave me a pair of speakers for my computer at Xmas. They seemed to work fine. Now, they work, but I also seem to somehow be tuned into a Spanish station. It would be cool if it was rock--but it's not. How do I fix this?
Perplexed

Dear Perplexed:
Why are you perplexed? Don't you like Spanish music? Do you mean to tell me you'd turn Jennifer Lopez away from your bed? Get real! Liar! You're just a bigot. How do you know that some ghost of some poor dead Spaniard (remember the Alamo?) isn't inhabiting your computer or it's speakers? I'm NOT technical assistance here--I don't know! Take it to best buy where they will charge you for an opinion--I'm fresh out of answers!
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
If anyone (a hair dresser, doctor, lawyer, candlestick maker, ha!) makes you wait for an appointment--how long is appropriate before you storm off and charge them for wasting your time?
Stick It To Them

Dear Stick It To Them:
You sound like a doctor! Or a male prostitute! Depending on what you're sticking. Anyhow, I like your idea--if these busy professionals who threaten to charge you for missed appointment, are late for theirs--shouldn't there be some remuneration (okay, I know ONE big word--it means MONEY! dumbass). I like that idea. I say if you have to wait more than 15 minutes you have the right to make a huge stink (who cares about charging them if you can take away some business permanently--it's not about the reward--it's about the pain--that's reward in and of itself). Of course, you can only use this course of action if you're through with this service provider--otherwise, be a whimp and wait, like the rest of the turds.
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I hate driving during the day. The sun gets in my eyes. It makes it hard to see. What can I do?
Sensitive Eyes

Dear Sensitive Eyes:
Get Visine of course! Other than that, I’d suggest you become a night-crawler instead of day-walker. You sound like a damned vampire. If you have a medical problem with your eyes--see a doctor. Otherwise, just buy a stupid pair of fake Ray Bans like the rest of us? Do you want me to wipe your ass too? Get a clue--if you only had a brain!
Mr. Man-ners