Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I’m very irritated. There is a co-worker who I work with who seems to have a baby every nine months, then she goes out and gets pregnant immediately again. It’s like she’s vying for ALL the vacation time she can get (our company offers 6 weeks maternity leave). It’s NOT fair. I’m a man, when do I get some time off?
A Man in a Women’s World
Dear A Man in a Women’s World:
First off, a co-worker is ALWAYS someone you work with—how dumb is that? You think this woman is getting pregnant to get vacation time? What are you nuts? It’s no vacation to give birth and the feedings are killer. This woman probably just can’t afford condoms—so give her some (that’s your clue to her that YOU see a pattern). When she reports you to HR for inappropriate behavior you’ll get your time off alright—in the unemployment line!
Mr. Man-ners
Dear Mr. Man-ners:
What’s up with all this anti-smoking discrimination? I mean we’re a minority. Yet, Chicago and then Deerfield and then Elk Grove Village (all in Illinois) seem to think it’s okay to discriminate against us. If us smokers were alcoholics or drug addicts or sex addicts or black or Indian, we’d be protected under the law. But that’s not the case. Why do people love to hate?
Smoker
Dear Smoker:
I agree with you! It’s safer and cheaper to be a crack whore! Hell, the non-smokers treat us all like pariahs anyhow!
Mr. Man-ners
Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I recently heard a story that is purported to be true. Supposedly, a man wanted to fix a leak in his pool. But he was cheap. So, instead of doing it the right way and draining the pool (which costs a lot of money) he decided to do it less expensively. He took a bag of rocks and tied them to his waist. Then he gave a length of garden hose to his two sons and told them that when he started yanking they should pull him up as fast as he could. Then he jumped into the pool with the hose in his mouth to fix the crack. But the hose crimped and he couldn’t breath. So he yanked on the hose several times. His boys frightened by the incessant pulling of the hose yanked it hard and the hose was yanked was pulled from their father’s mouth. Now, without any way to breath, the man decided to run as fast as he could (how fast could he run with a bag of rocks tied to his waist?) to the shallow end of the pool. Like I said, I don’t know if this story is true. But it is kind of funny if you can actually picture it. What I want to know, Mr. Man-ners, is why would anyone do this?
Long-time Reader
Dear Long-time Reader:
Because when the hose is yanked from your mouth and you can’t get your rocks off, you should run like hell!
Mr. Man-ners
No comments:
Post a Comment