redheaded people (Okay, now I’m a LITTLE confused. Is this a bi man/woman who has a fetish for redheads? Or someone doing research on why redheads tend to burn quicker in the sun?)
philipino women (What is the fascination with philipino women? Do they do something different in bed? Or are they cheaper to own—e.g. they want Fords instead of BMWs for blowjobs?)
SLEEP BITCHES (WTF is this? I thought ALL women were angels when they were asleep—but they were ALL bitches when they were on the rag. OR is it that even asleep women on the rag are bitches?)
chicago cigarette revenue (Must be Bush trying to find another way to increase taxes!)
Neil Lofquist 5 (NO—5 is how many times this was a hit! There are NOT 5 Neils—which is TOO bad because then we could kill him in 5 horribly different ways—as it stands he’ll probably go out with a lethal injection)
"lofquist murder" (Hmm, another wacko sicko trend. People are MORE interested in a murderer than say the war in Iraq or President Bush. Are they just trying to distract themselves—or do they really HATE Bush?)
bill clinton pics (In or out of the act? With or without Monica? With or without his cigar?
illegal immigration rally (was it for ILLEGALS to immigrate or to rally?)
trivada, drug for HIV 3 (3—no this is NOT HIV3—it’s 3 times people searched for this new drug that might stop HIV from taking hold. Hmm, a theme, AGAIN! Sex, drugs and drugs that’s allow you to have unprotected sex!).
famous people from elk grove village il. (Okay, someone out there is REALLY stupid. They didn’t find anyone the first time—and it’s ONLY been a few weeks—you don’t become famous over a month!)
Bill Hicks (Oh—how people LOVE me…if only. They’re probably searching for the comedian—and I’m just a humorist!)
Mr Hicks Men's Wear (Periods are NOT only for women--they're ALSO for abbreviations! I wish I had a line of clothing but I don’t. If I did it would be full of hip and suave clothes for men—and NO kilts!)
mens washroom etiquette (It’s a common theme…men don’t know how to behave in the bathroom—so they look it up online--then behave badly anyhow.)
Lauren lofquist 2 (Two people searched for her. She’s famous now that her father killed her—it’s too bad he didn’t JUST kill himself!)
caps yelling 2 (Two people—weird what people look for—they NEED to know how to yell in email—because they’re too WEAK to yell in person).
blog ballbust nut kick (Okay, WTH—what the hell? Someone REALLY want to hurt a man—in a blog? Why? Because they don’t want to do it in real life? That’s like yelling in an email—it’s WORTHLESS!
Smokebuddy (I wonder if somebody is that lonely that they’re looking for a smokebuddy. Or if it’s a blonde, maybe she’s looking for the other women who smoked with her who said, “Hi, guess I’m your smokebuddy.”)
ners sex (Is this NURSE sex? Or Nerves sex? Or something German? Or French? Or Greek? Is this REALLY bad spelling or a foreign language?)
humorous google searches (Odd that this one should come up — right when I’m writing one!)
large mammories (Men or perhaps women LOVE big tits—big tits sell—sex sells.)
bed and breakfast "messy guests" (are they TRYING to figure out how to get messy guests to move OUT or INTO a bed and breakfast?)
"planned obsolescence" humor (Hmm, I thought I was the ONLY humorist writing about it—but maybe that was the plan! So I’d look obsolescent—out of date—old!)
famous people and lung cancer (Who cares—most of them are dead anyway! I’d rather read about famous people and large mammories! Thanks for the mammories!)
philipino jokes (This is obviously about the Pilipino women with large mammories)
philippino pussy (Okay, obviously someone likes cats! Err, or large mammoried cats!)
"dingy whites" +laundry (AHA—one REAL housewife, maid named Hazel still exists!—just one thing, SHOUT! IT OUT! in caps of course.)
the art of john coltrain blue note personnel (I know he was some kind of musician—but did he own a temp company too?)
bills top pics (as opposed to bills bottom pics?)
mumbling problems (I’m not sure, hmmm, wha…who knows…wha this is bout, uhhh).
bill hicks, ashley furniture stores (I’ve been there, but I was NEVER arrested. Unless of course, I won a contest—did I, did I? PLEASE say I did!)
Brian A Annoreno 2 (TWO people wanted to know about him—ANOTHER common theme—murderers sell!)
smoking ban cook county definition (the definition of county? Or cook? Or cook county? Why do people ask the STUPIDIST questions?)
girlfriend left me with the mortgage (Okay, at least she left you holding onto something—other than your deflated manhood! Or did she leave with the mortgage man? Or did she take the mortgage with her? Depends on where you put the periods---and that’s probably what she was having when she left! Be thankful she didn’t leave you with an STD!)
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