Men are Martians & Women are Venusians

Men and Women. They have different minds. They react differently to different stimuli.

Men are more visually oriented. Women are more emotionally oriented. Take for instance pornography. Men love a good porno. Women accuse men of being more attracted to porn starlets then to them.

It’s no surprise that men are different from women. Hell, if I were a woman and had to sit to pee, I’d be angry at the world too. But just because men are from Mars and women are from Venus, does that mean we can’t get along? I guess so. That’s why there are all those alien war movies.

So, women are aliens. That’s what we men believe. Women prove it everyday. If a man is angry with his girlfriend or wife, he tells her. But if a woman is angry she “gives clues.” These clues include bleaching his favorite red shirt so it looks like shredded HIS bloody skin.

Below are some actions that prove women/men are different…

A man stands to pee and does not engage other men when doing so. If he must sit to shit, he makes flushing noise (even if the flusher is broken) so no one know it’s his plop plops in the toilet.
A woman sits to pee and then talks over the stall wall about everything she can think of. Anything that is, to avoid talking about the smells and sounds of the bathroom.

A man punches a wall.
A woman stops having sex.

A man goes and watches a violent movie to release some of his anger.
A woman goes and sees a tear jerker then associates EVERYTHING bad the man did in the movie with the man she’s pissed off at. So the women gets angrier.

A man punches another man.
A woman talks and talks to her girlfriends about “how to handle” the man. But she never talks to the man.
A man has an affair.

A woman accuses a man of having an affair every other day, thus putting the thought into the man’s mind and annoying him so much that he actually does have an affair.

A man works longer hours to avoid his woman.
A woman makes longer phone calls to the man to make sure he’s at work and make sure he’s not having an affair.

A man drives drunk.
A woman gets drunk, then has her boss drive her home (thus making her man THINK she is having an affair).

A man writes/deals with his feelings.
A woman cries and cries and cries some more. Then she talks and talks and talks some more. Then she wonders if it’s ALL her fault.

A man makes a decision.
A woman worries if she’s making the right decision. Then she talks to friends about whether she’s making the right decision. Then she asks her parents if she’s making the right decision. Due to lack of decisiveness and the time that passes ultimately the decision gets DECIDED for her.