Mr. Man-ners: Hair today, gone tomorrow?

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I go to this hair stylist. Yet EVERY time I try to go she’s on vacation, or taken a day off, or some such SH*T.
Needs a Haircut

Dear Needs a Haircut:
That’s NOT all you need—you need your mouth washed out with soap you fucking idiot. I’m the ONLY one who can swear in this column—get it! So, maybe she’s just a rich bitch who has a hair fetish—must be because I don’t know many hair stylists who can take off a lot of days—and still support living!
Mr. Man-ners