Mr. Man-ners (from Gas Leaks Bother Me)

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
My boss has a gas problem. He has been farting in front of people (judges, attorneys, etc.) for over 20 something years and no one says anything. Yes, he has done it to me. But today was the last straw. He farted in my area and left a horrible smell behind. I am feeling very disrespected. Can you please tell me how to deal with this without alienating myself?
Gas Leaks Bother Me

Dear Gas Leaks Bother Me:
They bother LOTS of people and kill many people EVERY year! Tell him to have his furnace checked out so NO one has to die! Or maybe he thinks you’re INTO “man smells”. Tell him this is NOT the case and that he should douche so he ONLY passes clean “natural” gas. That MIGHT give him a clue. But I doubt it. Your boss is a SHIT (Stupid Hedonistic Ignorant Twit)—and he’s full of shit too! My suggestion is to SNEAK a whoopee cushion into some IMPORANT meeting and make sure HE sits on it. When that upsets his clients, well, maybe he’ll get a clue! But don’t hold your breath, oops, maybe you should!
Mr. Man-ners