Part of My Morning Ritual

This time I opt for the toothpaste that was NOT created by a famous artist—but STOLE his name (DaVinci—that’s why the Mona Lisa was NOT smiling—she used his toothpaste and ALL her teeth fell out.)—to make my teeth pearly white (it must have ACID in it to remove the plaque). Hope it works, it costs as much as a DaVinci painting (but I HOPE after using it, it’s NOT my Last Supper with teeth). While brushing this time, I pay special attention to my NOW bleeding gums and blood-coated tongue so my breath will not smell like a “Fresh” kill. Soon, I will have such white teeth and wonderful breath people will flock to date me (at least that's what all the TV commercials suggest). The reality is probably more like: vultures will flock above; expecting to eat my leftover kills or sharks will swim in a circle awaiting their chum.