Games People Play

I’ve often thought there were way too few games for people. I mean, if you want to get to know someone on a date, what better, cheaper way than to FORCE (suggest) they play a game with you. Granted, some people will say that every time you go on a date it’s like a game: There are so many game players out there; it’s hard NOT to play a game. As this is probably true to some extent, I thought I’d create my own game for daters called PLAYIT-DON’TPLAYME the game of NO EXCUSES.

PLAYIT-DON’TPLAYME would be a perfect game for first dates. In this game, players would go around the board, landing on squares. The following is a sampling of some of these squares:

Give Your Date a Kiss
They could look like, act like and romance like a prince(ss). However, if they kiss like a frog—watch out! On the other hand, if they ARE a frog when they kiss you, they might turn into a prince(ss). If they don’t, find another frog…err…date! If they look like, act like AND kiss like a frog—watch out—they may try to stick theirtongue in your mouth (to find flies, I mean food): If they do this, you should immediately get treatment for warts (and other STDs!).

Ask the One Question That’s Most Pressing
Not the one pressing on your pants zipper! If it’s sexual, well you KNOW what’s on their mind.

Do Not Get Past First Base, Do Not Collect on Your First Date Investment, Go Directly Home and Masturbate!
We all know that some people buy new shoes, makeup, hair, drinks, maid service for the day (for their abominable apartment) to impress a first date, in hopes of getting lucky. When things don’t work out—well they get upset! By landing on this game square, they will get used to that idea that they don’t DESERVE something in return for good grooming, manners or cleanliness!

Tell the Truth About Your Worst Breakup
If someone does NOT tell about the time they were so obsessed with a lover, kept calling them, threatened suicide when it was over, cried themselves to sleep every night and NEVER TRULY got past the pain, the other person would know their date was a liar or an unfeeling creep! If they responded, “Well, I never really had a bad breakup,” you’d know that THEY were ALWAYS the one who got out of the relationship!

Do You Change After a Year In a Relationship?
If a date says, “No,” it’s a clear sign they’re lying. Everyone changes. When “No” is the answer, the player will have to answer another question: Have You Ever Cheated While in a Long-Term-Relationship? If the answer is “Yes, but…” and the player tries to JUSTIFY cheating, they must go back 20 spaces.

How Many Long-Term Relationships Have You Been In?
If the answer is fewer than two and the player is over 40, they just don’t have time for a relationship, or they’re expecting the fairytale aspects to last forever and ever—either way, run, don’t walk away from this MINDGAME player!

By playing this game, it would be easy to find out IMPORTANT information about a date. Not what they did the night before or that day. But what they expect from a lover. How they kiss (and we ALL know how important that is—no fish lips please!). How they respond to odd and sometimes very intimate questions (anger, laughter, silence—it all will be indicative of how they handle conflict). So, once I figure out how to market this game (and what the REST of the squares are) and who would buy it….I’ll let you know. Until then, I may just create a beta (testing) version of PLAYIT-DON'TPLAYME for myself! Because, lord knows I’ve dated enough frogs and MINDGAME players and Fairy Tale Seekers and one notorious SEXAHOLIC (which wouldn’t have been a problem, but the sex was NOT with me!).