Buzz Goes to the Houswarming Party

Hi, Musca Domestica, here again. Just call me Buzz…bzzz. I’ve been on ice for awhile, literally.

You see we fliez….bzzz, have a different metabolism than say dogs, or cats, or even humanz…bzzz. Let me ezplain. One day my owner left some food out to cool, zo…bzzz…he could freeze…bzzz…it. I waz hungry…zo…bzzz I started eating it. No biggie. Frozen…bzzz…pizza…bzzzz…iz…bzzzz…good lukewarm.

Anyhow, zo…I’ve got a big belly by the time he goes to freeze…bzzzz…it. I tried and I tried…but I couldn’t fly away when he goez…bzzz…to put it in the freezer…bzzz. I juzt…bzzz…couldn’t. Zo...bzzz…well, to make a long ztory…bzzz…long….he put me on ice. It waz….bzzzz…weekz…bzzz…before he went to make the pizza…bzzz…again. Ezcept…bzzz…he didn’t actually go to make it. He juzt…bzzz…tozzed…bzzz…it out. And I awoke. I was cryogenically frozen…bzzz. And I always…bzzz…thought that was a myth. Not!

I awoke when he waz…bzzz…throwing ztuff…bzzzz…out for hiz…bzzz…big housewarming…bzzzz…party. He must…bzzz…have zought I waz…bzzz….gone. Becauze…bzzz…he jumped when he hear me flying around hiz…bzzzz…head.

“Hi, Mr. Bill, I zaid,”…bzzz…az…bzzz…he got out of hiz…bzzz…zhower…bzzzz. He rezponded…bzzz…in typically fun fashion….bzzzz….”Fly away. Fly away home. Or I will make mince pie of you.” Oh, he’z…bzzz…juzt…bzzz…zo…bzzz…much fun.

Then I became a housefly…bzzz…on the wall. That way my lizp…bzzz…izn’t…bzzz…zo bad. That’s better.

I watched as interesting people arrived. There were men and women. They all carried odd bags. Zhiny and sparkling…bzzz. And when the food started…bzzz...ooking…it smelled…bzzz…delicious. I wanted to fly into the room and eat at the cakez…bzzz…and cookiez…bzzz. But I knew zomenone…bzzz…would be offended. Pluz…bzzz…I knew there would be lotz…bzzz…of leftoverz…bzzz…for me to eat. Zo…bzzz...I juzt…bzzz…watched. People drank wine and beer. They zmoked..bzzz...cigarettez…bzzz. Ezplain…bzzz…to me why people do all theze…bzzz…thingz. They’re not good for them. Well, I guezz…bzzz…it’z…bzzz…like why we fliez…bzzz…eat zhit…bzzz…it’z…bzz…an addiction.

Okay, zo…I cheated…I fell off the wagon…I had some zhit too….and it waz…bzzz…mmmm…mmmm…good. And I got a buzz…bzzz..bzzz…off o it.

Zo…bzzz…I must…bzzz…admit…the party waz….a good one…but then I landed on some food that waz….bzz…being put in the frezer…bzzz….again….and well…I couldn’t fly away. I’m almozt….frozen….bzzz…bzz…again. Well, at least…bzzz...I live longer thiz…bz…..way. Until…nezt…time…thiz…bz…iz…bz…Buzz…going into cryogenic zleep…bz.