Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Can you explain to me why companies can have massive sales after Christmas, but not before? Doesn’t it all end up in the same pot?
Not a Grinch
Dear Not a Grinch:
If you're not a Grinch--are you a Who? Who cares? The answer is that these companies have you by the jingle bells before and you have them by the chestnuts after. People want to give gifts on Christmas--so they’re willing to pay too much money for items. My suggestion is to bring your gift recipient (and the gift) back to the store the day (or the week) after Christmas and return and repurchase your gift. Make sure you bring along the credit card you purchased the gift with. Any savings you get will go back on the credit card (and you can give this money to the gift receiver as a bonus--this way you won’t look cheap!). By doing this with EVERY gift you give you’ll teach these retailers a valuable lesson!
Mr. Man-ners
Dear Mr. Man-ners:
With the holidays coming up, I’ve noticed lots of people taking time off from work. But I don’t have any vacation time left. Why do some bosses insist you follow the company rules for time off--then go ahead and do as they please. It’s not fair.
An Employee
Dear An Employee:
Whey you get to be the boss you’ll understand. They have all the power. They get to squeeze your jingle bells whenever they like. Boss stands for Better Off Sack of Shit. They have bosses too you know.
Mr. Man-ners
Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I’m tired of getting gifts I have to return. The hair nose trimmer that trims your sideburns and the hangers for your intimates. Who came up with such stupid items and why do people buy them for me?
Perplexed About What to do Next
Dear Perplexed About What to do Next:
Quit your bitching. People in third would countries could use those batteries in your nose trimmer to run their electricity for a year. They think the items you got are to die for. Literally. Give your gift giver a list--naming specific gift cards and suggest “No guessing.” Just be glad you’re still getting thoughtful (as in not a lump of coal) gifts. You could be getting something worse (for instance, I’d give you a good kick in the ass for not being grateful).
Mr. Man-ners
Dear Mr. Man-ners:
This is the Christmas season, a time to celebrate Christ’s birth--people should not be so materialistic. They should donate all the money they plan to spend on gifts to church.
Just An Idea
Dear Just An Idea:
I’ve got an idea--why don’t all the churches give all their money to the poor and needy like they’re supposed to do? And wasn’t Christ materialistic? I mean, look at all the gifts he got on his birthday. Did he give any of them back? No! Next time you get an idea--think about it. Ideas are like shit--some stink and some don’t. Yours stinks! Sure it feels great coming out--but that doesn’t mean you have to share it with the whole world.
Mr. Man-ners
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