Mr. Man-ners (9): Psychology, Degrees, Hard Knocks, Grocery Store, Managers, Scanner Errors, Human Errors,

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Who the hell do you think you are giving out advice to people? Do you have a degree in psychology?
Wanta Know

Dear Wanta Know:
I have spell check, it’s “want to know” if you want to know. Even if you don’t! Yes I have a degree. My degree is in the field of hard knocks. And if I ever catch you writing to me again, I’ll give you a hard knock right in your ass! Just remember, not everyone who gives out advice is a psychotherapist! How many of those talk show hosts actually have a degree in helping people? Not many! Doesn't stop them, so it's not going to stop me!
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Explain this one to me. I went to the grocery story. It’s one of those mega chains here in Chicago. Okay, I’ll admit it, it was Jewel Foods. They have a guarantee. If the items scans wrong it’s free. I’ve never really used it before, but I know about (as many people do not!). So, I’m at the checkout and the kid is ringing up my groceries. What happens next is almost comedic. I notice the tally jump from about 47 dollars to over $100. Know I know I didn’t buy that much. So I ask him how it happened. This 17 year-old cashier assures me it’s right and says the “roast beef” was $49.95. I say I didn’t have any roast beef. To make a long story short, a manager must go over and have the deli person put a different price on my coleslaw which rang up wrong. This takes about five minutes (what a waste of time!). So I mention to the manager about the guarantee and she says, “It wasn’t a scanner error, it was a human error, so you don’t get the item free.” What do you make of that? Aren’t all scanner errors human errors?
To Err is Human

Dear To Err is Human:
You’re right. I know, nobody EVER expected those words to come out of my mouth (which they literally didn’t since this is in print!--save this column it may never happen again.). If you could do it all over again, (do it all over the store!) I’d suggest you tell the 17 year-old, “How stupid can you be? Did you see anything remotely close to costing $49.95 in my order? Show me the inflatable sex doll--show it to me!” And I’d tell the manager, “Garbage in, garbage out. ALL scanner errors are human errors!” Then I’d escalate the issue to a higher manager. What’s the damned use of having a policy when there is NO way to use the policy? I wonder if this store has a sexual harassment policy that only applies to 12 year-old transvestites (we all know that 12 year-olds do NOT work). It certainly doesn’t sound like a jewel of a store. Find another place to shop!
Mr. Man-ners