Mr. Man-ners (14): Fun with Dick and Jane, Enron, God, Charmed, Job Burnout, Quitting

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
What do you think of the movie Fun with Dick and Jane with Jim Carrey? Have you seen it?
Curious Jorge

Dear Curious Jorge:
You're not very original with your moniker! I am NOT, I say NOT a movie critic. Okay, so I have an opinion--but so do all the asshole critics. Let me say--if you don't want to know the plot of this movie--do NOT read any further. Firstly, I would not have seen this movie if it weren't for some kind of weird (albeit profitable for me) glitch at the movie theatre. Thank you Loews--you were more than generous giving me my money back, a free pass to the next movie and allowing me to watch this movie. So, I did see it. And I must admit--the premise fits. A well-to-do newbie VP loses his job and decides to go into crime to support his lifestyle (sounds like most of the profitable politicians I've heard of). Plus, the VP (Carrey) decides to screw over the bosses who raped the company and took all the employees pensions away--I can't tell you if it works or not--but the movie does. Plus, there's a shot at Enron in it--so I liked it.
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Who do you think you are giving out movie advice and personal advice in one column?
Dumbfounded

Dear Dumbfounded:
I know you’re dumb, but I bet you haven't figured that out yet. Who do I think I am? God! Get over it DF.
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Did you see that Charmed last night—it was awesome.
Thought You’d Want to Know

Dear Thought You’d Want to Know:
I didn’t. I don’t. I was reading your damned letter, you DF! (different context, different meaning)
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I’m so sick of my job it’s ridiculous. The boss is bossy and the company is only out to make a buck. They don’t even care about their employees. Are all companies like this?
Disgruntled Employee

Dear Disgruntled Employee:
Please don’t go postal. You must work for USPS as the envelope this arrived in had a 37 cent stamp and a 39 cent stamp (this extra money SHOULD go towards on-site psycho-pharmaceutical drugs) is now required! Who cares if you’re sick of your job. How many people do you know who truly love their jobs? How many people are suited for their jobs (definitely not our daft president--who needs to go back to school for English 101). How many companies do you know who truly care about their employees? Name one and I’ll name six that bankrupted their pension funds so all the executives could take their lucrative bankrupt-the-company bonuses! Life is what you make it. You hate your job. Quit. Keep in mind, a company must make money to stay in business. Otherwise, how would those executives get their much deserved annual bonuses the size of some countries adjusted gross income. You want someone who cares, hire a prostitute. At least he/she cares until they get their money.
Mr. Man-ners