Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I didn’t realize it, but I missed a holiday. It’s Man Bashing Day. At least, that’s what my coworkers (all female) want me to believe. Some days are better than others, but today, they just went off on men. Sometimes they do this. I hate it. How can I get them to stop?
Sole Man
Dear Sole Man:
“I’m a sole man.” I just couldn’t help quote that song! Okay, I’ve worked in places like this before. So, what did I do? I quit! That’s about your only choice. Women “will laugh when they cut you” to quote another song. The only way to stop them Mr. Wimp (if you insist upon staying there as an employee you‘re a dumbass wimp) is by going postal on them! And with some women, they still won’t shut up.
Mr. Man-ners
Dear Mr. Man-ners:
My girlfriend is so picky. She thinks I should shave my underarms and my nose hair and my ear hairs. I refuse. She says I’m just being stubborn. What do you say?
Hairy & Proud
Dear Hairy & Proud:
I say if your girlfriend wanted a hairless man she should be a lesbian! Don’t do it. Next she’ll want you to stop farting and burping. Be a man--just say “no”!
Mr. Man-ners
Dear Mr. Man-ners:
My coworkers gossip all the time. I hate it. What should I do?
Let’s Just Work
Dear Let’s Just Work:
It depends on your corporate environment. I never thought I’d be spewing crap like that, but if the crap fits--it fits. If gossip is how everyone finds out what’s going on in the company--perhaps you should work elsewhere. Or you could just refuse to do it. But, if my guess is correct, you work with women. And women love to gossip. I say refuse to do what is uncomfortable for you--and if this doesn’t work--go to the boss. If the boss is the biggest culprit--get a new job.
Mr. Man-ners
Dear Mr. Man-ners:
How can you give advice on everything?
Want to Know
Dear Want to Know:
Well, because I’m a God-like entity who is omniscient. How come YOU have time to ask me such stupid ass questions? Get a life! Leave mine alone.
Mr. Man-ners
Dear Mr. Man-ners:
My wife complains all the time. I don’t do this. I don’t do that. She’s always complaining I’m a slob. I’ve suggested we get a maid, but she can’t stand the idea of a stranger coming into our house.
Need a Clue
Dear Need a Clue:
Your wife is nuts! Explain to her that you were once a stranger. Plus, all her nagging is not making you work harder or smarter, it’s just making you look outside the marriage for a woman who doesn’t nag. By the way, this type of women does NOT exist. But she doesn’t know that (all women are too afraid of losing what they have to think this one through!). I say, tell her you’re getting a maid--and that you’ll install a nanny-cam so that you can watch this maid and make sure she’s not trying on any of your wife’s intimates (that’s got to be the reason, what else could there be?). Once she sees you’re doing it anyhow, she will go along. What else can she do? Just don’t let her make you clean before the stranger shows up. This is stranger than a stranger cleaning your house (but it’s most women’s modus operandi!).
Mr. Man-ners
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