Mr. Man-ners (30): Pizza, The Devil, Stuttering, Prime Time, Sex Predators, DateLine, TV, Death, Sadam Hussein, President Bush

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
If pizza is so bad for you, why does it taste so damned good?
Pizza Eater

Dear Pizza Eater:
Because EVERYTHING that tastes good is bad for you--think bodily fluids! At least some! And then again not others! YUCK! Think of it this way, the devil put temptation in the world--then he took all the fun out of surrendering to it.
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Why do you spell your name like that…is it a sst stttutttter?
You’re a Fool

Dear You’re a Fool:
No yorrr annnn assssssshollllle. It’s NOT a stutter (don’t you know how to spell it dumbass?)….it’s a preference….just like you prefer to have sex with animal of the bovine kind!
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I was watching Prime Time or some such news journal type show and they were doing their third segment on sexual predators. It was weird. They caught like 50 men going o have sex with children under 14. They posed an imposter to pretend to be a child and then they lured them to this imposter’s house with the hopes of sex. Some of these guys were idiots and ugly and weirdoes, but some were attractive and teachers and singers/actors. I don’t think it was fair to do this to these guys—what do you think?
TV Watcher


Dear TV Watcher:
FIRST OFF…it was DateLine…you didn’t even get that part right! Just like you got the rest of it wrong!!! Wrong! Wrong! What are you an advocate for perverted pedophiles? Or are you a perve yourself? I saw the segment and while some of them looked like upstanding guys—they were NOT! Okay, so I admit, as a kid…I was curious about sex too—but these guys brought beer and condoms and sex gels and Viagra (I mean what’s that all about, if it turned them on enough to risk imprisonment you’d think they could get at least get a boner!). And some of these guys were violent criminals. I say if you do the crime—you pay the time! I say—check out the males you’re planning on meeting on PervertedJustice.com to find out if they’re perverted pedophiles. I say—I’ve got a golden opportunity to make money off these guys—set up a site for old guys to meet young LOOKING (say teen looking) people who are actually consenting adults—then blackmail the hell out of them! Charge then an arm and a leg—this way they wouldn’t ever CONSIDER doing this again. Get over it; these guys were Losers with a capital “L”!
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Why is it that good people have to die, while bad people (President George W. Bush, Sadam Hussein, etc.) get to live?
Befuddled

Dear Befuddled:
Stop thinking so much! Good people and bad people die—it’s just that bad people tend to have lots of embalming fluid (commonly known as stubbornness) in their blood. Some day we will all die. Don’t you get that? Aren’t you afraid? Be very afraid—because I know you’re address—and I’m tired of all these dumbass, jerk-me-off—badly questions. Get over it—live your life to the fullest—and stop thinking so much (you’re NOT very good at it anyway!).
Mr. Man-ners