Mr. Man-ners (39): Illinois Cigarette Taxes & Prejudice, IQs, 2006 Olympics, French Anagrams

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
You were right! The county of Cook in Illinois didn’t make as much money as they thought they would. Now they’re increasing cigarette taxes again!
A Smoker

Dear A Smoker:You’re a day late and a dollar short! So to speak! (Read my PREVIOUS letter from yesterday!). Yeah, I was right, but that goes with the territory (being God-like and all). Just remember the county TRULY doesn’t want smokers to quit, they just want them to spend more money. And my question is: How is it fair to tax one group of people to support the well-being of a population? It’s NOT! It’s called bigotry—prejudice—discrimination! Plus they want more money from these smokers, then they limit where they can light up. I was ALSO right about the issues with smokers in the downtown Chicago area—it appears smokers are NOW lighting up in alleys (sounds like there will be a lot more muggings!) because they have to be 15 feet away from the entrance to a building. And HOW do you smoke if you’re walking down the street? (do you walk down the median line?). I can hardly wait until someone is mugged while smoking (legally) ant here is a wrongful death suit against the municipality (then how much MORE will they charge smokers?).
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Your advice is dumb. Why do people read it?
IQ Over 200

Dear IQ Over 200:
Don’t you know what your OWN IQ is? How dumb is that? You give a bad name to retards everywhere! Don’t you know that people love to be hated. You obviously do. Wasn’t it obvious I wouldn’t be nice in my response? Or are you just plain stupid?
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Did you notice all the women who fell during the ice skating? What’s with that, are they all uncoordinated or something? How dumb.
Disappointed Viewer

Dear Disappointed Viewer:
Dumb—you should be so lucky! Actually the only way you’d get lucky with one of them was if they were blind! What's with that? Did you notice that every time someone fell and the pressure was off, they started to loosen up and perform perfectly? Too bad your wife says that NEVER happens with you! It’s all about pressure—if you were competing against some of the top ice skaters in the world—you’d freak out too—unless of course you were Tanya Harding, then you’d just have your boyfriend dosome bodily harm to one of them (how stupid was that with ALL the security they have at Olympic games—REALLY stupid!). Anyhow, leave the women alone—they did their best—though I’ll admit it wasn’t that great.
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
Hello? Is anyone home? Hello? You always take credit for things you didn’t do or say. You must be really stupid if you can’t think up/do something original.
Anonymous

Dear Anonymous:
Did you know that if you mix up the letters in your name (called an anagram—you dumbass!) that it spells out: Annoy Mous (which is CLOSE-ENOUGH to French for “Annoy me”!). And you should NEVER annoy me, you pompous ass.
Mr. Man-ners