Mr. Man-ners (53): Inventors, Reality TV, Suckwad, Jiba Jaba, New HIV drug, AIDS cure, Truvada®, Pregnancy, Iraq

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I’ve got the GREATEST idea for an invention. It’s a snooze button on the telephone. This way when one of your friends calls and you don’t want to answer, it would send a message saying “Please call back in 10 minutes.” Also, you could put a second button on the phone (especially with Caller ID) that would be a disconnect button, and it would say “Please stop calling, before I report you for harassment.” I bet I could get on that invention realty show with these. What do you think?
An Inventor

Dear An Inventor:
I WISH I had a button that would reply to ALL stupid emails and letters with, “Stop writing me with your dumbass ideas!” Or better yet, “Listen you suckwad, if you write me any more brainless jibba jabba, I’m going to throw your lifeless, brainless, spineless body into a sewage heap, because your ideas are FULL of SHIT.” If you want to try to get on that LAME invention show where EVERYONE wants to invent something nasty (a bow that unties for the SLUT in everyone, or a wet toilet paper roll that makes your ASS wetter than it already is) go for it. Anyone who needs these things on the phone is TOO LAZY to change the ringer to the off position (get a clue, eat some poo!).
Mr. Man-ners

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
I hear there’s a new drug to prevent AIDS. Have you heard about it?
HIV Watcher

Dear HIV Watcher:
What do you do: watch yourself giving it to someone else? The ONLY drug I’ve heard that prevents AIDS is ABSTINANCE (and it’s VERY expensive, since it’s SOOO rare!). But really, I did hear something. But it’s NOT new, you Disease-Ridden dumkopf! It’s actually a combination of drugs they’ve been using on HIV+ patients. It’s called Truvada® (tenofovir DF + emtricitabine, or TDF + FTC). “Truvada. Trivada, hasenpfeffer incorporated! We’re going to do it! Give us any chance…” Sorry, the WRONG words to the Laverne & Shirley show POPPED into my head! That’s what I get for trying to give REAL information—an aneurism!. I guess it TAKES a bunch of acronyms to KNOW & PREVENT an acronym. AIDS patients have been supplying this drug to their friends who are at risk—that’s ONE reason why the government is rushing to expand the study of this potential miracle drug . It’s NOT a cure, but it MIGHT prevent someone who takes it from getting the virus (in the lab it also SEEMS to have a long lifecycle in the body—of course those bodies were smaller than humans!). They figured this out BECAUSE the DUMB lab animals FORGOT their daily dosage! ((NOT really, but it’s funny!). The RARE side effects include upset stomach, belching, back pain, difficulty moving, feeling sad and almost ALL the symptoms that one is PREGNANT. Anyhow, don’t expect it on your drugstore shelf anytime soon…usually it takes YEARS to get drugs approved (and MANY deaths!—that’s the Bush administration’s way of saying to us taxpayers, if it ain’t Iraqi it ain’t worth spending YOUR money on).
Mr. Man-ners