Mr. Man-ners: Do you have rotting teeth?

Dear Mr. Man-ners:
What does a cavity feel like? I want to know since my teeth hurt.
Toothache

Dear Toothache:
How the fuck should I know--I've got PRISTINE teeth! NOT! A cavity feels like a swift kick to the teeth! Can I show you? Please. Please. Please. After that it aches when you eat (NO—not in your groin—that’s called an STD!). Your frigging tooth aches you dumkoff dumbass!
Mr. Man-ners